Then and never
by Libious
Summary: Sometimes we meet at strange times, sometimes those meetings come to us.


**Sometimes we write to survive. **

* * *

The trunk of her car opened and Judy was faced with the weight of her shopping. It was a lot, but she had so much to prepare for her daughter's birthday this weekend. Looking at the number of bags, it will take severa-

"Need a paw?"

Her heart nearly stopped and eyes snapped wide open. The bunny took a second to calm her heartbeat before she spun around.

A middle aged red fox was looking at her with a pair of green eyes. He was dressed in a charcoal shirt, with a black jacket, and pants to match.

"Hey…" He said quietly.

The doe didn't say anything.

"That looks like a lot of stuff to carry." He pointed at the trunk. "I thought you might need a bit of help."

Judy took a silent step forward.

Looking at her face, the fox sighed. "I guess this is a rather inappropriate way of saying 'hi'."

He got hit by a bunny tacklehug.

They both landed on the ground, with Judy holding him firmly with her small arms. Nick groaned and supported himself on elbows. "Uh, I guess tha-"

"Ten years…" Judy muttered from the level of his shirt, before raising tearful eyes to meet his gaze. "_Ten years,_ Nick!" She headbutted his chest, fighting back tears.

The fox didn't respond at first, but after a few seconds of silence he gently placed a paw on her back. "Sorry…"

This caused the doe to let out a sniffling snort. "_Sorry?_" She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and sat up. "You disappear on all of us for ten years and the best you can say is 'sorry'?"

Nick let out a sigh. "It's complicated."

"That I can believe. Back then it looked as if you simply vanished. Just… _What_ happend?" She inquired, standing up, and offering him a paw.

The fox accepted it and got up as well. His face was a depiction of apology. "I'm terribly sorry, Judy, but… I can't explain it."

She blinked. "...What? I mean- Okay, I get it, you're going to hit me with an amnesia cliche? Come on, Slick, you know you can tell me anything." The doe showed him a comforting smile.

She got a sad, dead serious look in return. "My memory is perfectly fine. It's just as I've said, I _can't_ explain it to you, sorry."

Judy stared at him for a good few seconds. "Are you kidding me?" Her voice slightly trembled when she spoke. "You disappear into thin air from a hospital bed in the middle of the night, return after ten years like it's nothing, and you _refuse_ to explain it?!"

"Yes." He stated calmly, looking her directly in the eye.

The doe could only stand still, stupefied by his response.

Nick let out a faint sigh. "All I can say is that you will understand one day, but it's not the time yet."

She slowly shook her head with mouth agape. "I don't believe this…"

"I see you got married." He pointed at her paw, where a gold wedding band was sitting on her finger.

The realization of what he said helped to break her stupor. She took a calming breath and switched to her police mind. If he refused to talk now, she will simply have to find a way to question him later. Still… He went straight for the throat with that question.

"Yeah…"

"Congratulations." He stated with a neutral voice. "When?"

She gave him some time of silence before speaking. "...Five years ago."

"It must be a good mammal, to be able to capture your heart."

Judy's cheek twitched. "Yes, yes, he is."

"A buck, guessing from the scent."

"He is a bunny, yes." The way he approached this topic, so indifferently, and with such calm… It really started to piss her off.

"Is he making you happy?"

That did it.

"_What the hell, Nick?!"_ She yelled straight at his face. "You actually _dare _to say things like this?! Three years, Nick. THREE YEARS I've been looking for you, day and night, even after Bogo closed the official investigation! When my family finally persuaded me to drop it, it took me another year to get back to normal! That's when I met Stephen, and things went from there! And we have two children, very healthy, thanks for asking!" She clenched her little paws into fists. "But where have _you _been?! What kept you so busy that you couldn't even message me that you're alive?! The doe panted, throwing out her griefs of many years. When she continued, her voice felt like it was bleeding. "...I _loved _you, you idiot…" Her eyes gave in and let out the tears that were piling up. "But you just had to disappear on me…"

Nick closed his eyes and lowered his head. "I'm truly sorry. I wish things would have gone differently."

Judy bit her lip and spun around, crossing her arms.

Silence embraced them again.

After a while the doe managed to get her emotions stabilized enough to speak again. "Why did you even come here? Why now?"

"To apologize. You deserved much better." His voice remained infuriatingly calm. So much that she grit her teeth and stomped to her car.

"Yes! Thank you for thinking about me, I'll remember it for our next meeting." The doe began angrily picking up the bags with groceries.

"You won't see me again. Well, except one more time." Nick's voice made her freeze.

"And… I know it is horribly late for me to say this, but… I loved you, too, Judy. Goodbye."

She spun around the moment he said that.

There was not a living soul in sight.

"...Nick?" Judy made a few steps forward, looking around. "_Nick?"_

She couldn't see anyone, couldn't hear anyone.

And, just like that, her heart was crushed again.

Chief Judith Laverne Hopps-Skippers dropped to her knees and cried.

She cried for all the years she believed she lost.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Do you need anything else?" The otter nurse asked with a kind smile.

"No, thank you, Isabel." Judy said letting out a tired sigh.

It was an exhausting day. Seeing so many of her grandchildren in such a short span of time was equally enjoyable as tiring. Thankfully, her hospital room couldn't accommodate too many visitors at once. This helped to dilute the crowd.

"Okay. Should you change your mind, just give me a call." Isabel took the tray with the plates from her supper and left the room.

Judy sighed once again, slowly turning her heavy head on the pillow to look outside the window. Even with the night outside she could see the trees waving slightly to the wind. It was a calming sight, perfect for falling asleep.

She may have grown old, but her hearing still functioned quite well. That's why she shook awake when her ears registered some noise in the room. Judy blinked her eyes open, at least, as much as she could. "Isabel?" She said hoarsely.

There was no answer, but with the faint light from her bed lamp, the doe could make up a blurry figure close to her bed.

"Who's there?" Her paw reached out to the nightstand, searching for her glasses.

That's when the figure drew closer and before she could react in any way, she saw how it extended its paws towards her.

"Sto-"

A set of paws gently placed the glasses on her face, making the world sharper.

"Good evening, Fluff." A red fox said with a hint of a smile, sitting on the side of her bed.

Her eyes shot as wide open as her age allowed.

"You…"

"You look great." This time, he really showed a smile. Well, more of a smirk.

This comment was… was… so _him._ And she wanted to get angry, to snap back at him, but she felt far too old for that.

Instead, she gave in.

"Liar…" Judy replied, forming a smile of her own.

"Always been." He nodded.

"Few years back I would smack you."

"Ah, then I'm glad to know that I'm safe."

"Hah, move any closer and I'll bite you."

"Do I look suicidal to you?"

They were both smiling.

Judy had a million questions at the back of her head. It was difficult to choose one. She looked at his clothes. "Is it just me, or you keep wearing the same thing?"

He nodded. "More or less."

She barely was able to shake her head. "You never change. Speaking of which…" The doe squinted her eyes. "Do I get an explanation as to why you haven't changed _one bit_? You look _exactly_ the same as on that evening, forty years ago."

A smile wasn't leaving his face. "Maybe it will be easier if I simply show you?"

"Oh?" She raised a sarcastic brow. "An actual answer? No vanishing tricks this time?"

"Of course, I told you back then, didn't I? There will come a time for you to understand." He gently pet her paw.

"Uh, don't talk about time, you jerk. Not when I look like a damp rag and you somehow got to keep your looks." She delivered that line with faked annoyance.

Nick chuckled in response. "Please, I have all the time in the world. Also, you are mistaken about something." He slowly reached out and placed his paw on her cheek. "You're still as beautiful as I remember."

Judy blinked.

She felt warmth pouring from his paw, sinking into her fur and skin. It felt refreshing and so… right.

"But I digress. I was supposed to explain things to you."

"Yes. Yes, you were." Judy didn't even notice when her own paw rested on his.

She received another smile. A much softer one. "In that case," the fox stood up, offering her his paw, "will you join me for a walk?"

Her eyes widened again. "A _walk_? In the middle of the night?"

"Mhm. A truly mesmerising time to be awake."

Judy's smile faltered a little. "Nick… It's nice of you to be like this, but… I can't walk. Not anymore."

"Nonsense!" His sharp response made her flinch. "Judy Hopps never gives up! Didn't you prove me that, once?" He kept holding out his paw.

"Nick…"

"Trust me. You're more than capable." He nodded with a strange spark in his eye.

She let out a sigh, not able to resist showing a little smile. The doe reached out and placed her paw in his.

That's when he gently pulled and Judy sat up. To her shock, her back pain was gone. No searing flames were tormenting her spine. But he wasn't finished and guided her to the edge of the bed. The doe couldn't believe that she was moving that way. But the most astonishing thing was sliding off to the floor and… standing up. Her legs felt perfectly fine. Just to test if she wasn't dreaming, she tapped her feet a few times, and even made a small jump. She felt as if she was back to her twenties.

"See?" Nick said, standing close to her. "Nothing is impossible for Officer Judy Hopps."

The doe even looked down and her eyes widened once more this night, as she saw her Precinct One uniform on her. Her eyes shot up at the fox.

"Nick, what is this- How-"

Still holding her paw, Nick leaned down to her. "This, my dear Carrots," he kissed her fingers before gazing into her eyes, "is a once-in-a-lifetime walk."

Moments later, the room was empty. Except for the motionless, silent bunny on the hospital bed.


End file.
